"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
