You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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