Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
