Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
