You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
