Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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