If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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