Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
