i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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