How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do vagina's smell?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
