So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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