he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
