I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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