so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
