brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
