Already got asked if we're dating
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
