My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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