Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
