Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
