There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
