how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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