why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
