I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
