I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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