your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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