I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
