Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
