Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
