Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
