two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
