i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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