i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
