She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
