I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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