so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
