make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
