Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i barfeds in our rink
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
