Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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