I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
