Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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