There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
worst night to have a conscience
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
