I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
