Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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