I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
