You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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