It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And then my night got REAL pukey
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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