brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
