Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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