Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
