mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
