He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Terrible idea I love it
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
