I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
